Business & Finance

The initial emotional responses to learning of a spousal extramarital affair can be all-engulfing. Naturally, you are the last one to learn about it. And now you know. Everything your life has been based on for years is now in question. You feel you can’t possibly go on together now that pain, sorrow, and anger are overwhelming you. You ask yourself endlessly why the person you married out of love doesn’t feel the same emotions regarding your marriage as you still feel despite the passage of time. But perhaps it doesn’t have to mean the ending of your marriage.

There are reasons to remain in your marriage even after an affair. It is a natural response of human beings to look upon others with lust in our eyes. For many who have married their first love, the idea of a sexual relationship with someone other than our spouse can be most intoxicating, whether we act out on that fantasy or not. Even simple flirtation can be subconsciously engaged in with no intent of taking it any further. Being human entails thinking, feeling, and sometimes even doing things that may not be the most rational choices. And when that happens, we can make an additional choice to use the errors in judgment to learn and grow.

One reason to remain together after an affair is that working through difficulties causes both individuals to grow, together and separately. The strengths that can be garnered from working past an affair together are innumerable. It’s not the good times that make a relationship strong, it has to do more with the ability to handle issues, pitfalls, and even seeming disasters together that serves to cement and reinforce the relationship and build up the marriage. Why not an affair as well?

Provided the one who strayed is actually sorry for their actions, the marriage can be build up from here. It doesn’t matter who cheated on whom. It matters that both parties care enough to work on getting past this issue, and that there is a desire to remain together, and a willingness on both of their parts to face the difficult moments that will come as they forge ahead together. The marriage can not only survive, but thrive as well.

Why stop your infidelity? Think about when you first started this affair. Did you feel guilt? Why did reasons you feel this guilt. Was it because you loved your spouse, you didnt want to hurt them, or you didnt want your marriage to end? You love them and you two built a marriage together.

Why stop your infidelity? This affair you have going is filled with excitement, intrigue and a sense of danger from the sneaking around. Is it really something that will last past those feelings? Is it a relationship that will stand the test of time? It wont, when those feelings are gone, the thrill of your relationship will be gone. You will want to crawl back to that strong rock, your spouse. Make the decision yourself before it is too late.

Probably the best reason to stop the affair now is that you love your spouse still, after years and years together. In good times and bad, with all your idiocyncrasies, they have remained steadfastly with you. They love you and you still love them. Now is the time to end this affair. Not tomorrow, not next week. Now.

If you both have the strength and endurance to get past the affair, then you will survive. Your love for each other will grow deeper. You married each other for a reason and that is why you will stay married.